Prophet Muhammad ﷺ always cautioned the newly reverted Muslims to completely disassocte from the practices, culture and traditions of the pagans of Makkah and asked them to enter the fold of Islam in full, with no trace of their previous life attached to them.
Todaym we share a Hadith attributed to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ wherein he had ccautioned believers from observing rituals of the dead or even when a calmaity befell on them and asked them to be patient and accept the will of Allah in its totality.
This Hadith has been narrated by Narrated `Abdullah and mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari 1294:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and follows the ways and traditions of the Days of Ignorance is not one of us."
Arabic Text:
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا زُبَيْدٌ الْيَامِيُّ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ مَسْرُوقٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَطَمَ الْخُدُودَ، وَشَقَّ الْجُيُوبَ، وَدَعَا بِدَعْوَى الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ ".
This hadith, narrated by Abdullah (commonly understood to be Abdullah ibn Mas'ud), is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals condemns excessive and dramatic mourning practices.
Explanation of the Hadith
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ here condemns excessive and dramatic mourning practices such as:
- Slapping cheeks
- Tearing clothes
- Acting in the manner of Jahiliyyah (Days of Ignorance)
These were common ways pre-Islamic Arabs expressed grief during times of calamity, especially during funerals. Such actions were often rooted in pagan rituals, extreme emotional outbursts, and rejection of divine decree (Qadar).
By saying “is not one of us,” the Prophet is not declaring disbelief (kufr), but rather distancing such behavior from the ideals of a believing, disciplined Muslim community. It's a warning that this behavior contradicts Islamic teachings on patience and trust in God's wisdom.
Explanation of Hadith in Light of the Qur'an
The Qur'an emphasizes patience (ṣabr) and reliance on Allah when facing loss:
- "Who, when disaster strikes them, say, 'Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.'" — Surah Al-Baqarah 2:156
- "And give good tidings to the patient..." — Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155-157
These verses highlight the virtue of calmness and acceptance of fate, in contrast to the dramatic displays of grief condemned in the hadith.
Islam promotes emotional expression in moderation—crying is not forbidden—but discourages acts that imply rejection of Allah’s decree or mimic pre-Islamic rituals.
Why Some Countries Still Practice These Traditions
Despite clear Islamic guidance, these mourning practices persist in some cultures and countries for various reasons:
- Cultural Inertia: Pre-Islamic customs remain deeply embedded in some communities, passed down through generations. Emotional rituals are seen as "tradition" rather than religious defiance.
- Lack of Islamic Education: Where access to authentic Islamic scholarship is limited, people may conflate culture with religion.
- Sectarian Interpretations: In some Shia communities, particularly during Ashura, public displays of grief—including self-flagellation—are common, rooted in historical remembrance rather than Qur'an or Sunnah-based mourning etiquette.
- Emotional Catharsis: In times of deep grief, people often seek public, symbolic acts to process pain. These acts become community norms, despite being religiously discouraged.
- Social Pressure: In some cultures, not visibly mourning (in dramatic fashion) can be seen as disrespectful, pressuring individuals to follow local norms.
Islamic Position in Summary
- Islam allows grief, but discourages excess.
- The Qur’an and Sunnah call for patience, dignity, and submission to God's will.
- Outward, exaggerated mourning practices linked to Jahiliyyah or cultural customs are discouraged or even forbidden.
The Crux of the Hadith in light of Qur'an
Allah at many pakces in Qur'an directes the beleivers to be patient and exercise "Sabr - صبر" when a near and dear one dies or a calamity befalls on them. The outburst of grief beyond proportion is negation of the Divine Wisdom and Direction.
Muslims must understand what is rightful and what is otherwise. Those aspects which have been explixitly forbiddednaor a caution imposed must be curbed and left in totality. There should never be explanation attached to following cultures and traditions of non Muslim practices which are clearly explained and there exists no imbiguity.
We need true understanding of Islamic injuctues and educate ourselves by reforming the community response to aligning local practices with Islamic principles.
You may like toread our earlier post to allign oneself withthe will of Allah: Islam: Submission is not to surrender in defeat But to align one's will with the will of The Creator
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door.
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.
Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.
Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.
Please refer to our reference page: Collection of Hadiths of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about Warning and Cautions for more Hadiths on the subject
For more hadiths on varying subjects, refer to our reference page: Sunnah and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to know more about Hadiths and Sunnah of Prophet of Allah. You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.
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