حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا زُبَيْدٌ الْيَامِيُّ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ مَسْرُوقٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَطَمَ الْخُدُودَ، وَشَقَّ الْجُيُوبَ، وَدَعَا بِدَعْوَى الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ ".
This hadith, narrated by Abdullah (commonly understood to be Abdullah ibn Mas'ud), is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals condemns excessive and dramatic mourning practices.
Explanation of the Hadith
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ here condemns excessive and dramatic mourning practices such as:
- Slapping cheeks
- Tearing clothes
- Acting in the manner of Jahiliyyah (Days of Ignorance)
These were common ways pre-Islamic Arabs expressed grief during times of calamity, especially during funerals. Such actions were often rooted in pagan rituals, extreme emotional outbursts, and rejection of divine decree (Qadar).
By saying “is not one of us,” the Prophet is not declaring disbelief (kufr), but rather distancing such behavior from the ideals of a believing, disciplined Muslim community. It's a warning that this behavior contradicts Islamic teachings on patience and trust in God's wisdom.
Explanation of Hadith in Light of the Qur'an
The Qur'an emphasizes patience (ṣabr) and reliance on Allah when facing loss:
- "Who, when disaster strikes them, say, 'Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.'" — Surah Al-Baqarah 2:156
- "And give good tidings to the patient..." — Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155-157
These verses highlight the virtue of calmness and acceptance of fate, in contrast to the dramatic displays of grief condemned in the hadith.
Islam promotes emotional expression in moderation—crying is not forbidden—but discourages acts that imply rejection of Allah’s decree or mimic pre-Islamic rituals.
Why Some Countries Still Practice These Traditions
Despite clear Islamic guidance, these mourning practices persist in some cultures and countries for various reasons:
- Cultural Inertia: Pre-Islamic customs remain deeply embedded in some communities, passed down through generations. Emotional rituals are seen as "tradition" rather than religious defiance.
- Lack of Islamic Education: Where access to authentic Islamic scholarship is limited, people may conflate culture with religion.
- Sectarian Interpretations: In some Shia communities, particularly during Ashura, public displays of grief—including self-flagellation—are common, rooted in historical remembrance rather than Qur'an or Sunnah-based mourning etiquette.
- Emotional Catharsis: In times of deep grief, people often seek public, symbolic acts to process pain. These acts become community norms, despite being religiously discouraged.
- Social Pressure: In some cultures, not visibly mourning (in dramatic fashion) can be seen as disrespectful, pressuring individuals to follow local norms.
Islamic Position in Summary
- Islam allows grief, but discourages excess.
- The Qur’an and Sunnah call for patience, dignity, and submission to God's will.
- Outward, exaggerated mourning practices linked to Jahiliyyah or cultural customs are discouraged or even forbidden.
The Crux of the Hadith in light of Qur'an
Allah at many pakces in Qur'an directes the beleivers to be patient and exercise "Sabr - صبر" when a near and dear one dies or a calamity befalls on them. The outburst of grief beyond proportion is negation of the Divine Wisdom and Direction.
Muslims must understand what is rightful and what is otherwise. Those aspects which have been explixitly forbiddednaor a caution imposed must be curbed and left in totality. There should never be explanation attached to following cultures and traditions of non Muslim practices which are clearly explained and there exists no imbiguity.
We need true understanding of Islamic injuctues and educate ourselves by reforming the community response to aligning local practices with Islamic principles.