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Thursday 24 August 2023

Etiquette of conversation when in a company: Let no two people hold secret counsel

Islam is a complete code of life and conduct. While it lays down the rights of individuals, it also mentions their obligations towards other human beings both as individuals and as society. Talking of the obligations, the etiquette of living in a society or attending the company of people assume prime importance. There are many a verse from Qur'an and Sunnah/Hadiths of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ which restrict two people to whisper to each other for it offend others for they may take it that something is being said against them.

There is a Hadith on whispering or secret counseling mentioned in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī  (Book 79 - Asking Permission /  كتاب الاستئذان/ Chapter 47: Two to have a secret talk in a gathering of more than three / باب  إِذَا كَانُوا أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثَلاَثَةٍ فَلاَ بَأْسَ بِالْمُسَارَّةِ وَالْمُنَاجَاةِ ) as Hadith 6290, given herein under:

Narrated by `Abdullah: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When you are three persons sitting together, then no two of you should hold secret counsel excluding the third person until you are with some other people too, for that would grieve him."

Arabic Text:
حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ مَنْصُورٍ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏{‏إِذَا كُنْتُمْ ثَلاَثَةً فَلاَ يَتَنَاجَى رَجُلاَنِ دُونَ الآخَرِ، حَتَّى تَخْتَلِطُوا بِالنَّاسِ، أَجْلَ أَنْ يُحْزِنَهُ‏}‏‏.‏

Let us abide by the Prophetic Etiquette and not let our actions leave a bad taste in the company of people or may smell animosity against others, for anything said in hidden words or whispering is tantamount to backbiting.
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى‎) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door. 
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ‏ 
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.

May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.

Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.

Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.

Please refer to our reference page: Sunnah and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to know more about sunnah of Prophet of Allah. You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.

Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references as given below. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors.  If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.

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