And of the parents, mother plays a very leading and dominating role right from the stage of conceiving, enduring the growing fetus for almost nine months and finally bearing the pain of labour. It is for this reason, both Qur'an and Hadiths lay more emphasis on the mother-child relationship than any other relation. The father plays his part by supporting the family being in the background, though his importance cannot be undermined.
Therefore, Islam places significant emphasis on respecting and serving one's parents. Both the Quran and Hadith (the sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad) provide numerous instructions and examples highlighting the importance of honoring and caring for parents. Let us see the importance as highlighted in the Qur'an and Hadiths:
Quranic Teachings on Respect and Service to Parents
- Surah Al-Isra (17:23):
"For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully."
- Surah Al-Isra (17:24):
"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'"
These verses emphasize the importance of showing utmost respect, kindness, and humility towards parents, especially in their old age. The expression "uff" is a very mild form of annoyance, and even that is prohibited.
- Surah Luqman (31:14):
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination."
This verse highlights the hardship a mother endures and enjoins gratitude towards both parents.
- Surah Al-Ankabut (29:8):
"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do."
This verse instructs to maintain goodness to parents even if they try to compel one towards polytheism, while maintaining obedience to Allah.
Hadith on Respect and Service to Parents
- Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (Sahih Bukhari):
"I asked the Prophet, 'Which deed is the dearest to Allah?' He replied, 'To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.' I asked, 'What is the next (in goodness)?' He replied, 'To be good and dutiful to your parents.' I further asked, 'What is the next (in goodness)?' He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause.'"
This hadith places the duty towards parents immediately after the duty to perform prayers, highlighting its importance.
- Narrated by Abu Hurairah (Sahih Muslim):
"A man came to the Prophet and asked, 'Who is most deserving of my good companionship?' The Prophet said, 'Your mother.' The man said, 'Then who?' The Prophet said, 'Then your mother.' The man further asked, 'Then who?' The Prophet said, 'Then your mother.' The man asked again, 'Then who?' The Prophet said, 'Then your father.'"
This hadith emphasizes the high status of the mother in particular, mentioning her three times before the father.
- Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar (Sunan Ibn Majah):
"The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of Allah lies in the anger of the parent."
This hadith indicates that one's treatment of their parents directly impacts their relationship with Allah.
- Narrated by Abu Darda (Abu Dawood):
"The Prophet said, 'The father is the middle gate to Paradise. It is up to you whether you take advantage of it or not.'"
This hadith suggests that honoring one's father can be a means of entering Paradise.
Both the Quran and the Hadith emphasize the importance of respecting and serving parents, stressing that this duty is second only to the worship of Allah. The guidance provided includes:
- Respectful Speech and Behavior: Avoid even mild expressions of annoyance.
- Humility and Kindness: Treat parents with humility and mercy, especially in their old age.
- Gratitude: Be thankful to parents for their sacrifices and care.
- Priority of Service: The mother, in particular, is given a high status, followed by the father.
- Spiritual Consequences: Good treatment of parents is linked to Allah's pleasure and a means to Paradise.
The beauty of parents' house is its openness 24/7. No matter the time of the day or night, the door to one's parents is never found shut. In there, there await an aging couple always waiting for their children to show up and are welcomed with the same warmth, kindness and live that has been there since the birth of their offspring. The scent of the fragrance of a mother is ever too strong and never fades. It is in the arms of the mother that children no matter how much grown fight solace and comfort. It is the embrace by the father and a fillip on the shoulder that gives confidence and motivation when the children feel weary from the difficulties and stresses of life.
By following the guidance provided by Qur'an and Hadiths, Muslims are encouraged to maintain strong, respectful, and caring relationships with their parents, recognizing their vital role and the significant sacrifices they make. Remember, after the mother earth shrouds the parents forever, there remains no selfless relation in the world. Even brothers close their doors on the brothers. So let us take care of our parents for so long they live and try to return their love, though we cannot even an iota of it.
You may now like to watch an animated video by eminent Muslim scholar Nouman Ali Khan giving out a guideline on how to love and respect one's parents:
Remember "The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of Allah lies in the anger of the parent." Let us seek pleasure of Allah by pleasing our parents and not invite the Divine wrath by annoying or displeasing our parents.
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door.
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.
Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.
Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.
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