It is for this reason of bearing a child, raising him and educating him to be a good Muslim and valuable human being, that Allah has sent down many a instruction for being kind to one's parents. Likewise Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has on many a occasion directed his companions to be kind and respectful to their parents.
*We have already written a number of posts on the subject which can be accessed from links given below:
While so much is said about respect, kindness and obeying of one's parents, can their be an eventuality whereby a child could disobey his parents? This is a difficult question, but Allah gives out the answer to this question in the 8th verse of Surah 29 Al Ankabut being shared today:
وَوَصَّيۡنَا الۡاِنۡسَانَ بِوَالِدَيۡهِ حُسۡنًا ؕ وَاِنۡ جَاهَدٰكَ لِتُشۡرِكَ بِىۡ مَا لَـيۡسَ لَـكَ بِهٖ عِلۡمٌ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَا ؕ اِلَىَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمۡ بِمَا كُنۡتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُوۡنَ
We have conjoined man to do good to his parents, but if they force you to associate with Me another (deity) whom you do not know (as such), you should not obey them." You have all to return to Me: then I shall tell you what you had been doing
Shirk, associating an deity with Allah or labelling someone as His son or His associate, is one of the biggest and unforgettable crime in the eyes of our Creator, the sole and unchallenged Master of the universe. He alone has created the entire universe, living creatures including man, and innumerous means of sustenance for everything that lives above and below the earth. Therefore, if someone adds any deity to His Lordship, He is utterly annoyed and displeased. Those who do so will be specially dealt with on the day of the Judgements and will be unpardonable no matter how good otherwise they have been in their earthly life.
Let us examine this verse in detail as explained by some of the eminent scholars and exegetes of Qur'an:
Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi:
According to Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Da'ud and Nasa`i, this verse was Sent down in respect of Hadrat Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (neice of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, "I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are supermost even according to Allah's Command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too." Hadrat Sa'd was perplexed and came before the Holy Prophet and told his whole story. At this, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. Therefore, the same theme has been repeated forcefully in Surah Luqman: 15 also.
What the verse means to impress is this: The rights of the parents, among the creation of Allah, are to be held as the supreme, but even if the parents force a person to adopt shirk, they should not be obeyed. The words, "If both of them force you to associate..." imply that a lesser pressure, or a pressure by either of them, deserves to be set aside much more promptly. The next sentence, ".... whom you do not know (as such)," is also noteworthy. This gives a sound reason for not obeying the parents in this regard. The parents certainly have the right that the children should serve them, respect them, and obey them in lawful things. But they do not have the right that one should obey them blindly against one's knowledge of the reality. Therefore, there is no reason why a person should go on following his parents' religion just because it is their religion. If the children come to know that their parents are following a false religion, they should give it up and adopt the right religion. and should not follow the wrong way whose falsehood has become clear to them even if the parents use every kind of pressure for it. When this is so in the case of even the parents, it should be so with every other person, too. No one deserves to be followed and obeyed unless one is sure that the person being followed is on the right path.
"You have all to return to Me: then I shall tell you what you had been doing": That is, "The relationships of the world and their obligations are confined to the world. At last, the parents as well as the children have to return to their Creator, and before Him everybody will be held answerable only on the basis of his personal responsibility. If the parents have misled the children, they will be called to account . If the children have accepted deviation for the sake of the parents, they will be punished. And if the children adopted the right way, and showed no slackness in rendering the parents' lawful rights either, but the parents ill-treated them only for the reason that they did not join them in their deviation, they will not be able to escape Allah's punishment."
Tafsir Ibn-Kathir: The Command to be Good and Dutiful to Parents
Allah commands His servants to be dutiful to parents, after urging them to adhere to belief in His Tawhid, because a person's parents are the cause of his existence. So he must treat them with the utmost kindness and respect, his father for spending on him and his mother because of her compassion for him.
Allah says: (And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.") (17:23-24)
Although Allah orders us to show kindness, mercy and respect towards them in return for their previous kindness, He says: (but if they strive to make associate with Me, which you have no knowledge of, then obey them not.) meaning, if they are idolaters, and they try to make you follow them in their religion, then beware of them, and do not obey them in that, for you will be brought back to Me on the Day of Resurrection, and Allah will reward you for your kindness towards them and your patience in adhering to your religion. It is Allah Who will gather you with the group of the righteous, not with the group of your parents, even though you were the closest of people to them in the world. For a person will be gathered on the Day of Resurrection with those whom he loves, meaning, religious love.
Allah says: (And for those who believe and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with the righteous.) In his Tafsir of this Ayah, At-Tirmidhi recorded that Sa'd said: "Four Ayat were revealed concerning me – and he told his story. He said: "Umm Sa'd said: 'Did Allah not command you to honor your parents? By Allah, I will not eat or drink anything until I die or you renounce Islam.' When they wanted to feed her, they would force her mouth open.
Then this Ayah was revealed: (And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you associate with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.)" This Hadith was also recorded by Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i. At-Tirmidhi said, "Hasan Sahih.
Javed Ahmad Ghamidi Explanation:
"[None has a greater right than God.] We have directed human beings to treat their parents with kindness but [at the same time clarified that] if they force you to associate someone with Me of which you have no knowledge": This an argument in favour of refutation of polytheism. Imām Amīn Aḥsan Iṣlāḥī writes:
The word علم here means “argument” and “proof.” As far as one God is concerned, it is an obvious reality that even a polytheist acknowledges. As far as His associates are concerned, it is the responsibility of those who regard them to be His associates to present a proof of this. In the absence of any such proof, it is not permissible for any reasonable person to become their servant by regarding them to be God’s partners. (Amīn Aḥsan Iṣlāḥī, Tadabbur-i Qur’ān, vol. 6, 19)
"Then do not obey them": Among the trials mentioned earlier, a big trial was that at times parents forced their children to obey them in matters of religion. Those who accepted the call of Muḥammad (sws) must have faced this trial as well. Thus the Qur’ān has made it evident that though the right of parents is an obvious fact, God has not granted them the right that they be obeyed in matters of religion without any reasoning or they compel their children in matters of religion.
Tafsir Qur'an Wiki:
The sūrah then refers to a type of test which we have already mentioned: that of ties and bonds with family and loved ones. It gives clear and decisive guidance in such a difficult situation. Parents are the closest of all relatives. They give much to their children. Hence, to be kind to one’s parents is a duty required of everyone. Indeed parents must be treated with love, respect, and care. Yet when it comes to one’s duty towards God, they cannot be obeyed in opposition to Him. The paramount bond is that with God. Hence, if one’s parents are unbelievers, they should be treated with care and kindness, but must not be obeyed or followed. Once this present life is over, all return to God.
So my dear sisters and brothers in Islam, despite the status of parents in Islam and the respect and obedience due to them, Oneness of Allah cannot be denied and anything tangent to this reality is not to be accepted at all. If parents pressurize their children for not accepting Islam, they can be disobeyed as per the Divine Directive above. However, even after entering the fold of Islam, one should never abandon one's parents and continue to respect them and be kind to them.
Remember, as mentioned in Qur'an, even Prophet Ibraheem (Abraham, peace be upon him) was admonished for praying in favour of his father who was a polytheist and refused to enter fold of Islam and continued to worship the idols. Likewise, when Prophet Nuh (Noah, peace be upon him) was onboard his ship, his arrogant son refused to come onboard and was drowning in the flood. Prophet Nuh wanted to save his son despite his disobedience to enter into the fold of Islam and was let to drown. So much is the punishment of not accepting Oneness of Allah.
And it is heartening to note that more and more non-Muslims, specially Christians, are entering the fold of Islam in huge number all over the world. The false concept of Trinity is finally crumbling and new reverts are finding message of Qur'an more logical than man made concept of the 4th century. In many cases, parents which were hostile to reversion of their offspring to Islam, later too reverted to Islam when they felt the strong ambiance of Divine faith from their offspring.
Please read the revert experiences of some of the reverts as given in our reference page: Entering the fold of Islam - The revert experiences.
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door.
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.
Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.
Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.
You may read more posts on similar theme in our series of posts related to: Compiled verses from Qur'an on specific subjects: Religion
You may read more posts on similar theme in our series of posts related to:
For more Selected Verses, please refer to our reference page: Selected Verses from the Qur'an. You may also refer to our Reference Pages and Understanding Al Qur'an for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.
An effort has been made to gather explanation / exegesis of the surahs of the Qur'ān from authentic sources and then present a least possible condensed explanation of the surah. In that the exegesis of the chapters of the Quran is mainly based on the "Tafhim al-Qur'an - The Meaning of the Qur'an" by one of the most enlightened scholars of the Muslim World Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi.
In order to augment and add more explanation as already provided, additional input has been interjected from the following sources:
- Tafsir Ibn Khatir
- Muhammad Asad Translation
- Yusuf Ali Translation
- Translation Javed Ahmad Ghamidi / Al Mawrid
- Qur'an Wiki
- Verse by Verse Qur'an Study Circle
- Towards Understanding the Quran
In addition, references of other sources which have been explored have also been given above. Those desirous of detailed explanations and tafsir (exegesis), may refer to these sites.
Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references given above. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors. If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.
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