In our previous post: Understanding the misunderstood concept of "Superiority" of men over women in Islam, we shared the answer to the misnomer that many have about the so called "superiority" of men over women in marriage. In that we shared the 34th verse from Surah 4 An Nisa (The Women) which had two parts as under:
اَلرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُوۡنَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّٰهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلٰى بَعۡضٍ وَّبِمَاۤ اَنۡفَقُوۡا مِنۡ اَمۡوَالِهِمۡ ؕ فَالصّٰلِحٰتُ قٰنِتٰتٌ حٰفِظٰتٌ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّٰهُ ؕ وَالّٰتِىۡ تَخَافُوۡنَ نُشُوۡزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوۡهُنَّ وَاهۡجُرُوۡهُنَّ فِى الۡمَضَاجِعِ وَاضۡرِبُوۡهُنَّ ۚ فَاِنۡ اَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُوۡا عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيۡلًا ؕاِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيۡرًا
(4:34) Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other, and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection. As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them. Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.
In the first part, "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other, and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them)" It was clarified that men are placed as caretaker of their wives by providing them financial support to run the household and all other related matters like paying bills, ensuring provision of healthcare for the spouse and the children and grooming of children by providing them good education and related requirements. In fact, more than a caretaker, man are "burdened" with a great responsibility. The post ended with an informative explanation by eminent scholar Nauman Ali Khan.
Today, we will try to explain the second part of the above quoted verse reads:
"Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection.
The verse starts with the word: Good / righteous women. The word "good" has been used by Allah for the reason that good married women establish their household being God fearing for any act of theirs which is tangent to Commandments of Allah and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would make them liable to disobedience to Divine commandments.
The term "good women" (الطَّائِعَاتُ) refers to women who are obedient to their husbands in accordance with Islamic principles and are mindful of their duties within the marriage. Their obedience is understood to include being faithful, protecting the household, and guarding what is entrusted to them during the husband's absence. The key aspects of "good women" in this verse include:
- Devout obedience to Allah and their husbands: They are women who respect the role of the husband as the protector and provider within the marriage, and they work to maintain harmony in the relationship.
- Guardianship of what Allah has entrusted to them: This refers to the protection of the family, the home, and the husband's rights during his absence.
- Maintainer of Peace and Tranquility: The peace and tranquility in a household largely depends on the lady of the house. In fact she is the one who controls the thermostat and keeps the temperature in the house under control. Men by nature are aggressive and when burdened with the responsibility of maintaining the household financially, they have to undergo the rigours of ermining money outside. These hardships make them worrisome many a times and enrages them when they find their household is already running in high temperature. This leads to disagreements and misunderstanding between the two spouses. It is here the woman of the house has to control the anger and keep a cool atmosphere, badly needed for a happy home.
Narrating the stature of a good woman, Ibn Kathir, one of the most renowned exegete of Qur'an in his tafsir of Surah An Nisa, quotes Imam Ahmad who recorded that 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ الْأَبْوَابِ شِئْتِ
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.')
This is the good / righteous woman mentioned in above quoted verse.
And if the woman of the house is unable to take stock of things and disobeys her husband with her rebellious attitude, the verse spells out guidance for men on how to deal with marital discord.
"As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them. Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great."
This part of the verse touches on the concept of resolving conflicts within marriage, advising men to approach disobedience (Nushuz) in a series of steps. That is if a wife is being disobedient (referring to major disobedience, not minor issues), the husband is instructed to first advise her, then refrain from sharing the bed, as a last resort, establish a form of physical discipline that is non-abusive and meant to correct behavior.
However, the "beating" is understood in the context of a very controlled and non-abusive action (using a small stick, for example, and with the intention of correction, not harm). The objective is to resolve conflict and restore peace in the relationship. It does not mean beating one's wife on petty matters. Qur'an lays down the methodology of punishing only a rebellious wife in three stages as mentioned above. One should not straightaway start beating his wife, for even beating a wife is least liked in Islam.
The Prophet ﷺ cautioned, “Do not beat your wives in a way that causes harm.” (Sunan Abu Dawood). This shows that, while there is a mention of the husband's authority to address serious issues in the marriage, it is to be done with care, not as an act of oppression or cruelty. The hadiths related to this verse also stress the importance of good treatment and the prohibition of harm. The marriage relationship in Islam is one of mutual support and care, with men fulfilling their roles as providers and protectors, and women fulfilling their roles as caretakers and supporters, always aiming for harmony and equity within the family structure.
The verse concludes with an emphasis on reconciliation and the cessation of any punitive action if the wife returns to obedience. If the woman returns to obedience, then the Quran emphasizes that all conflicts should be put aside, and the husband should not act against her.
You may now listen to the explanation of the second part of the verse as explained by Ustah Nauman Ali Khan:
About Nouman Ali Khan: Born to a Pakistani family, Nouman Ali Khan is an American Muslim speaker and Arabic instructor who founded the Bayyinah Institute for Arabic and Qur’anic Studies, after serving as an instructor of Arabic at Nassau Community College. He has been named one of the 500 most influential Muslims in the world by the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Centre of Jordan.
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door.
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is our duty to convey only to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in the video above are those of the scholar concerned. We have shared this view as added information in better understanding of Islam. The reader may or may not agree with the view owing to their own perception. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors. If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.
Photo | Resources: Ibn Kathir
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