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Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts

Monday 12 June 2023

How should children honour their parents after their death (Hadith Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)

The best of the love of believers after the love of Allah, the Lord of the entire universe, and His prophets, specially the last of the prophets, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, is the love and honour of one's parents, both while they are living and while they are no more. In fact, no one can repay one's parents for the sacrifices of one's parents which they made to rear them from the day one was conceived in the mother's womb till they left this world. Each day of their lives was spent on the wellbeing of their children while they sacrificed their own wellbeing so that their children should get the best of the very best.

We share a hadith attributed to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in which he has emphasized the need to honour one's parents after their death. 

This Hadith is mentioned in Sunan Ibn Majah (Book # 33 Etiquette كتاب الأدب / Chapter # 2 Uphold ties with those whom your father used to uphold ties / باب صِلْ مَنْ كَانَ أَبُوكَ يَصِلُ ) as Hadith number # 3664 as under:

حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ سُلَيْمَانَ، عَنْ أَسِيدِ بْنِ عَلِيِّ بْنِ عُبَيْدٍ، مَوْلَى بَنِي سَاعِدَةَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي أُسَيْدٍ، مَالِكِ بْنِ رَبِيعَةَ قَالَ بَيْنَمَا نَحْنُ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ إِذْ جَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَنِي سُلَيْمٍ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَبَقِيَ مِنْ بِرِّ أَبَوَىَّ شَىْءٌ أَبَرُّهُمَا بِهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ مَوْتِهِمَا قَالَ ‏
 "‏ نَعَمْ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَيْهِمَا وَالاِسْتِغْفَارُ لَهُمَا وَإِيفَاءٌ بِعُهُودِهِمَا مِنْ بَعْدِ مَوْتِهِمَا وَإِكْرَامُ صَدِيقِهِمَا وَصِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ الَّتِي لاَ تُوصَلُ إِلاَّ بِهِمَا ‏"‏‏.‏

It was narrated that Abu Usaid, Malik bin Rabi'ah, said:
"While we were with the Prophet(ﷺ), a man from the Banu Salamah came to him and said: " O messenger of Allah, is there any way of honoring my parents that I can still do for them after they die?' He said: "Yes offering the funeral prayer for them, praying for forgiveness for them, fulfilling their promises after their death, honoring their friends and upholding the ties of kinship which you would not have were it nor for them.'"

Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)

The above said Hadith lays down clear cut guidelines for the children for praying for the forgiveness of their parents and then fulfilling all their promises they made and honouring their friends and relatives. This hadith also specifies the need never to break ties with the kinship and ancestorial lineage for they are the ones closer to one's parents.
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى‎) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door. 
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ‏ 
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.

May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.

Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.

Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.

Please refer to our reference page: Sunnah and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to know more about sunnah of Prophet of Allah. You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.

Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references as given below. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors.  If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.

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Saturday 8 February 2020

Selected Verses from Quran: Be Good to Your Parents


Islam stresses much on the family life and respect of one's parents. Parents assume the foremost importance in the hierarchy of all relations for it is they who endure all the hardships to rear their children and raise them as best as they can to make them a respectable and honourable citizens when they finally grow up and commence their own family lives. 

The mothers carry their babies for nine grueling months and undergo the severe birth pains when babies are born. From then on for at least two to three years the new borns are completely dependent on their parents, mostly mothers, before they are able to stand on their feel. 


وَوَصَّيۡنَا الۡاِنۡسٰنَ بِوَالِدَيۡهِ​ۚ حَمَلَتۡهُ اُمُّهٗ وَهۡنًا عَلٰى وَهۡنٍ وَّفِصٰلُهٗ فِىۡ عَامَيۡنِ اَنِ اشۡكُرۡ لِىۡ وَلِـوَالِدَيۡكَؕ اِلَىَّ الۡمَصِيۡرُ‏  


"We enjoined upon man to be dutiful to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning lasted two years. (We, therefore, enjoined upon him): “Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is your ultimate return." (Surah 31 Luqman:14) 

Thereafter begins a joint struggle of both parents for next two decades to help us in our studies to finally be able to find a reasonable job and commence our practical lives. But in the process, the parents have worked hard to provide the best of the education, comfort and love so that we are not deprived of our schooling and meaningful upbringing. This wears them out and as their babies become young adults, silver hair start to appears on the parents heads. From then on, it is they who need our love and care so that they may live a comfortable live and seeing us settling down with our families, as they  did and underwent the cycle of life years ago.

It is for this life long struggle that Allah places respect of parents as the top priority for the children:


وَقَضٰى رَبُّكَ اَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۡۤا اِلَّاۤ اِيَّاهُ وَبِالۡوَالِدَيۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا​ؕ اِمَّا يَـبۡلُغَنَّ عِنۡدَكَ الۡكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَاۤ اَوۡ كِلٰهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَّهُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُلْ لَّهُمَا قَوۡلًا كَرِيۡمًا‏ 

"Your Lord has decreed: (i) Do not worship any but Him; (ii) Be good to your parents; and should both or any one of them attain old age with you, do not say to them even "fie" neither chide them, but speak to them with respect
(Surah 17. Al-Israa / Bani Israel: 23) 

This commandment is very comprehensive. It prohibits not only the worship of anyone except Allah but also implies that one should obey and serve and submit to Allah alone without question. One should accept His commandments and law alone to be worthy of obedience and His authority to be supreme above all. This was not merely an instruction confined to a religious creed and individual practice but it served as the foundation of the moral, cultural, and political system which was practically established in Al-Madinah by the Prophet (peace be upon him). Its first and foremost principle was that Allah alone is the Master, Sovereign and Law-giver.

This verse enjoins that after Allah’s right, the greatest of all the human rights is the right of parents. Therefore, the children should obey and serve and respect their parents. The collective morality of society should make it incumbent on children to be grateful and respectful to their parents, they should serve them as they nursed and brought them up in their childhood. Above all, this verse is not merely a moral recommendation but is the basis of the rights and powers of parents the details of which we find in the Books of Hadith and Fiqh. Moreover, respectful behavior and obedience to and observance of the rights of parents comprise the most important element of the material education and moral training in the Islamic society and civilization. Incidentally, all these things have determined forever the principle that the Islamic state shall make the family life sound and secure by laws, administrative regulations and educational policy and prevent its disintegration.

Yusuf Ali Explains this verse in following words:  

The spiritual and moral duties are now brought into juxtaposition. We are to worship none but Allah, because none but Allah is worthy of worship, not because "the Lord thy God is a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate Me" (Exod. xx. 5). Note that the act of worship may be collective as well as individual; hence the plural ta'buda. The kindness to parents is an individual act of piety; hence the singular taqul, qul, etc.

And right in the next verse, children are commanded not only to be humble to their parents but also to pray for their parents:
وَاخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيٰنِىۡ صَغِيۡرًا ؕ‏ 

"And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: "My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." 
(Surah 17. Al-Israa / Bani Israel24) 

Yusuf Ali Explains that the metaphor is that of a high-flying bird which lowers her wing out of tenderness to her offspring. There is a double aptness. (1) When the parent was strong and the child was helpless, parental affection was showered on the child: when the child grows up and is strong, and the parent is helpless, can he do less than bestow similar tender care on the parent? (2) But more: he must approach the matter with gentle humility: for does not parental love, remind him of the great love with which Allah cherishes His creatures? There is something here more than simple human gratitude; it goes up into the highest spiritual region.

Note that we are asked to honour our father and mother, not "that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" (Exod. xx. 12), but upon much higher and more universal grounds, such as befit a perfected revelation. In the first place, not merely respect, but cherishing kindness, and humility to parents, are commanded. In the second place, this command is bracketed with the command to worship the One True God. Parental love should be to us a type of divine love: nothing that we can do can ever really compensate for that which we have received. In the third place (see next verse) our spiritual advancement is tested by this: we cannot expect Allah's forgiveness if we are rude or unkind to those who unselfishly brought us up.


However, having emphasized the need to take care of one's parents, there is a caution here too from Allah. And that is when it comes to choosing between Him and one's parents:

وَاِنۡ جَاهَدٰكَ عَلٰٓى اَنۡ تُشۡرِكَ بِىۡ مَا لَيۡسَ لَكَ بِهٖ عِلۡمٌ ۙ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَا​ وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِى الدُّنۡيَا مَعۡرُوۡفًا​ وَّاتَّبِعۡ سَبِيۡلَ مَنۡ اَنَابَ اِلَىَّ ​ۚ ثُمَّ اِلَىَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمۡ بِمَا كُنۡتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُوۡنَ‏  

"But if they press you to associate others with Me in My Divinity, (to associate) those regarding whom you have no knowledge (that they are My associates), do not obey them. And yet treat them well in this world, and follow the way of him who turns to Me in devotion. Eventually it is to Me that all of you shall return, and I shall then tell you all that you did.” (Surah 31 Luqman::15) 
According to Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Daud and Nasai, this verse was sent down in respect of Saad bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (niece of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, “I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are superior even according to Allah’s command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too.” Saad was perplexed and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told this entire story. At that, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. 
What the verse means to impress is this: The rights of the parents, among the creation of Allah, are to be held as the supreme, but even if the parents force a person to adopt shirk, they should not be obeyed. The words, “And if they strive with you to make you join with Me” imply that a lesser pressure, or a pressure by either of them, deserves to be set aside much more promptly. The next sentence, “Of which you have no knowledge (as such)” is also noteworthy. This gives a sound reason for not obeying the parents in this regard. The parents certainly have the right that the children should serve them, respect them, and obey them in lawful things. But they do not have the right that one should obey them blindly against one’s knowledge of the reality. 

Therefore, there is no reason why a person should go on following his parents’ religion just because it is their religion. If the children come to know that their parents are following a false religion, they should give it up and adopt the right religion, and should not follow the wrong way whose falsehood has become clear to them even if the parents use every kind of pressure for it. When this is so in the case of even the parents, it should be so with every other person, too. No one deserves to be followed and obeyed unless one is sure that the person being followed is on the right path.

However, one should still continue to honour one's parents with compassion and due consideration and should not abandon them just because they do not profess to the divinity and Oneness of Allah, and continue to accompany the parents in life with kindness.

Herein under, we are sharing a beautiful commentary on the respect of parents in Islam by Nouman Ali Khan:
May Allah help us understand Qur'an and help us to act upon the commandments of Allah contained therein. and also help us to take care of our aging parents and look after them for as long as they are with us and Aameen.

For more Selected Verses, please refer to our reference page: Selected Verses from the Qur'an

You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Quran.
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Reading the Holy Quran should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully.

An effort has been made to gather explanation / exegesis of the Sūrahs of the Holy Qur'an from authentic sources and then present a least possible condensed explanation of the surah. In that:
  • The plain translation has been taken from the Holy Quran officially published by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. 
  • The exegesis of the chapters of the Holy Quran is mainly based on the "Tafhim al-Qur'an - The Meaning of the Qur'an" by one of the most enlightened scholars of the Muslim World Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi. 
In order to augment and add more explanation as already provided, additional input has been interjected from following sources: 
In addition the references of  other sources which have been explored have also been given in each page. Those desirous of detailed explanations and tafsir (exegesis), may refer to these sites.

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Thursday 25 April 2019

Why Islam Stresses on Respect of Parents

Islam places a great emphasis on relations to b build strong bonds between communities, tribes and nations. But of the relations, the importance of one's relation with one's parents is expressed explicitly and Muslims have been directed to respect and take care of their parents more than any relation in the world.

A Muslim must establish a strong bond with Allah and must never deviate from His commandments in living his life. After Himself, if Allah asks a faithful to respect and be kind to anyone is his parents. At almost a dozen places in the Holy Qur'an, it has been stressed upon the Muslims that they must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. 
Your Lord has decreed: (i) Do not worship any but Him;26 (ii) Be good to your parents; and should both or any one of them attain old age with you, do not say to them even "uff (fie)" neither chide them, but speak to them with respect, and be humble and tender to them and say: "Lord, show mercy to them as they nurtured me when I was small." (Quran Surah Al Isra 17:23-24)
This verse enjoins that after Allah’s right, the greatest of all the human rights is the right of parents. Allah has forbidden children against disrespect to parents. We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is “uff,” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, Allah has told us to address them with honor and deference. Therefore, the children should obey and serve and respect their parents. The collective morality of society should make it incumbent on children to be grateful and respectful to their parents, they should serve them as they nursed and brought them up in their childhood. Above all, this verse is not merely a moral recommendation but is the basis of the rights and powers of parents the details of which we find in the Books of Hadith and Fiqh. Moreover, respectful behavior and obedience to and observance of the rights of parents comprise the most important element of the material education and moral training in the Islamic society and civilization. Incidentally, all these things have determined forever the principle that the Islamic state shall make the family life sound and secure by laws, administrative regulations and educational policy and prevent its disintegration.

And yet again Allah tells the believers to be good to their mothers for they have borne them for nine months with utter hardship, and raised him:
And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."(Quran Surah Al Ahqaf 46:15)
This verse tells that although the children should serve both the mother and the father, the mother’s right is greater in importance on the ground that she undergoes greater hardships for the sake of the children. The same is borne out by a Hadith, which has been related with a little variation in wording in Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Musnad Ahmad, and in Adab al- Mufrad of Imam Bukhari, to the effect that a person asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): Who has got a greater right to my service? The Prophet replied (peace be upon him): Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your father. This Hadith precisely explains this verse, for in it also allusion has been made to the triple right of the mother: (1) His mother bore him with hardship. (2) She gave him birth with hardship. (3) His bearing and his weaning took thirty months.

The commandments to respect the parents continue. Here in Surah Al Isra 17:24 there is a perfect prayer given for children to recite so that Allah may have mercy on parents:
“And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’”. 
The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings out of protection and love for their young. Our treatment of our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble, respectful, and loving towards them

In Surah Luqman (31:14), Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
"We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for to Me is the final destination."





Although man has been directed to respect and act in kindness to his parents, there is one exception - and that is if the parents ask him to associate anyone with Allah:
And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. (Qur'an Surah Al-'Ankabut 29:8)
According to traditions quoted by Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Daud and Nasai, this verse was sent down in respect of Saad bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (niece of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, “I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are superior even according to Allah’s command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too.” Saad was perplexed and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told this entire story. At that, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. 

However, while the same theme has also been repeated in (Surah Luqman: Ayat 15), showing compassion to the parents is still stressed:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
This means that even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act in Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no concept of leaving our parents in Islam, even if they are disbelievers. To further elaborate this point, there is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good friend, Abu Bakr. Asma once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how she should treat her mother, who was a polytheist. The Prophet of Allah replied, “Treat your mother well.”

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has on many occasions stressed the importance of both parents so that they should be respected. While he kept a mother on a much higher pedestal and said:"Paradise lies under the feet of the mother," he has also said: "Allah's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father." Thus he sums up: "He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best door must please his parents."

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has also been quoted as saying: “Every righteous child who casts a look of mercy and affection upon his parents shall be granted, for every look of his, rewards equivalent to that of an accepted Hajj.”  Those around the Prophet questioned: “O’ Prophet of Allah!  Even if he were to look at them a hundred times a day?”  The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) replied: “Indeed!  Allah is the Greatest and Most Kind.”

It has also been attributed to The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, saying:

أَلَا أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ ثَلَاثًا الْإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَشَهَادَةُ الزُّورِ أَوْ قَوْلُ الزُّورِ

Shall I not tell you about the worst enormities? They are three: idolatry against Allah, disobedience to parents, and false witness. [Source: Sahih Bukhari 2511]

If the Prophet has associated disobedience to parents with idolatry and falsehood, the worst sins in Islam, then this tells us that disobedience is not a sinful deed we should take lightly.
May Allah keep us on the right path and help us in repaying our parents for what the troubles and hardships they have endured in raising us and letting us stand on our feet and let us not disobey them in any form, lest it hurts them and we earn wrath of Allah. Aameen.

Photo | References: | Main Source:  Wikipedia | Other Sources : | 2 | 3 | 4 |
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