Who will be the unlucky to be humbled into dust (Hadith Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)

The basic moral fabric of Islam revolves around a cohesive and well knit family. No relation beyond one's immediate family has been termed as sacred as that of parents and their children. The family in fact hinges around the pivot that parents provide to their offspring. If the status of parents is neutralized or not respected, the children may be subjected to the Divine anger and will be hamulated both in this world and the life of the Hereafter.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ too has cautioned believers to be very mindful of the respect due to one's parents and should never ever compromise their status over any other relation. Failing to do so would carry such a punishment that one cannot even think of. It is generally observed that men after their marriage are more caring to their own family, that is wife and children, and relgated the respect, service and attendance to their parents to a lower shade. For such men, this Hadith should act as an eye opener:

This Hadith is quoted in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: Book 45 The Book of Virtue, Enjoining Good Manners, and Joining of the Ties of Kinship / كتاب البر والصلة والآداب /  Chapter 3: The Disgrace Of One Whose Parents, One Or Both Of Them, Reach Old Age During His Lifetime, And He Does Not Enter Paradise / باب  رَغِمَ أَنْفُ مَنْ أَدْرَكَ أَبَوَيْهِ أَوْ أَحَدَهُمَا عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ فَلَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ ‏ ‏‏ / as Hadith number # 2551a as under:

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) as saying:

Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: Allah's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise.

Arabic Text:

حَدَّثَنَا شَيْبَانُ بْنُ فَرُّوخَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَوَانَةَ، عَنْ سُهَيْلٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قِيلَ مَنْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ‏"‏ مَنْ أَدْرَكَ أَبَوَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ أَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا فَلَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ‏

Explanation of the Hadith

The Prophet (ﷺ) repeats this phrase to emphasize severe regret and disappointment. It reflects a deep sense of lost opportunity and serves as a stern warning to those who fail in their duty towards their parents.

"The one who sees one or both of his parents in their old age but does not enter Paradise":

This statement highlights that caring for one’s aging parents is not just a moral duty but a significant opportunity for earning Allah’s pleasure and securing a place in Paradise. Failing to take care of one’s parents, especially when they need it most, is seen as a grievous shortcoming.

• Emphasis on Serving Parents: Serving one’s parents, especially in their old age when they are most vulnerable, is a unique form of worship that has immense rewards. The Prophet (ﷺ) stresses that such an opportunity should not be wasted.

Connection with the Quran

The hadith directly aligns with various verses of the Quran that emphasize the importance of kindness, respect, and obedience to parents, especially when they reach old age.

• Obligation to Show Kindness to Parents:
• Quranic Reference:  “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)
• Implication: This verse highlights the importance of gratitude towards parents, acknowledging the hardships they endured, especially the mother. It calls for recognizing the debt of care and kindness owed to parents.
• Treating Parents with Humility and Mercy:
• Quranic References: 
• “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:23) 
• “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’” (Surah Al-Isra 17:24)
• Implication: These verses command Muslims to show utmost respect and kindness towards their parents, especially in their old age. Even the smallest sign of annoyance or disrespect, such as saying “uff” (a term of mild displeasure), is prohibited, demonstrating the high standard of behavior expected.
• Link Between Serving Parents and Attaining Paradise:
• Quranic Reference: “And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness...” (Surah Luqman 31:15)
• Implication: This verse acknowledges that while one’s primary duty is to Allah, the requirement to treat parents with kindness remains paramount, even when there are differences in belief. It stresses that this kindness and patience are pathways to earning Allah’s pleasure and, ultimately, Paradise.

Lessons and Reflections

• Opportunity for Great Reward: The hadith emphasizes that having parents in old age is a unique opportunity for great spiritual reward. By serving them, one has a direct path to Paradise, which should not be taken lightly.
• Parental Rights in Islam: The hadith and related Quranic verses highlight that Islam places immense importance on the rights of parents. This includes physical care, emotional support, and showing respect and humility, especially when they are old and frail.
• Consequences of Neglect: The Prophet’s (ﷺ) strong language serves as a warning against neglecting parents. Failing to serve one’s parents in their time of need is not just a social failing but a spiritual one, with serious consequences in the Hereafter.
• Gratitude and Patience: Islam teaches that caring for parents, especially in their old age, is a form of gratitude for all they have done. It also requires patience and humility, reflecting the care and compassion they showed in raising their children.

This hadith, supported by Quranic teachings, underscores the immense significance of honoring, serving, and caring for parents, especially in their old age. It presents this duty as a means of attaining Paradise and warns of the spiritual loss for those who neglect it. Through this guidance, Islam emphasizes that serving one’s parents is among the highest forms of worship and an essential aspect of a believer’s path to Allah’s pleasure and reward.

Time is now for all those whose parents are still alive to be kind to them and serve them at priority than all other relations. Anyone who hurts one's parents and is negligent of their service, should immediately return to one's parents and let them not be hurt. Those who have lost their parents should pray for their forgiveness and grant of Jannah tul Firdous, while repenting to not have done enough to take care of them.

May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى‎) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door. 

وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ‏ 

(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”

That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.

May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.

Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.

Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.

Please refer to our reference page: Collection of Hadiths of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about Warning and Cautions for more Hadiths on the subject

For more hadiths on varying subjects, refer to our reference page: Sunnah and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to know more about Hadiths and Sunnah of Prophet of Allah. You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.

Photo | Source of Hadith | Help taken from ChatGPT for expanding meaning of the Hadith

Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references as given above. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors.  If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.

If you like Islam: My Ultimate Decision, and to keep yourself updated on all our latest posts to know more about Islam, follow us on Facebook. You may also refer to our Facebook  Group Islam: The Ultimate Truth for more on Islam and Da'wah.

Follow @IslamUltimate

Please share this page to your friends and family members through Facebook, WhatsApp or any means on social media so that they can also be benefited by it and better understand Islam and the Qur'ān - Insha Allah (Allah Willing) you shall be blessed with the best of both worlds.

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Can a faithful child Disobey his parents?

Parents in Islam assume a very exclusive and elevated status in Islam. Both parents, specially the mothers, are to be respected and never to be disobeyed, for it is the mother who carries her offspring for nine months in her womb and endures extreme discomfort during these nine months and undergoes extreme pain during the childbirth. She then feeds her offspring and raise her with her best love and care to a standing youth. The father too works hard and undergoes extreme hardships to make arrangements for the raising of his offspring at the cost of his discomfort and extreme body limits.

It is for this reason of bearing a child, raising him and educating him to be a good Muslim and valuable human being, that Allah has sent down many a instruction for being kind to one's parents. Likewise Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has on many a occasion directed his companions to be kind and respectful to their parents. 

*We have already written a number of posts on the subject which can be accessed from links  given below:

• Why Islam stresses on respect of parents
• Be good to your parents
• How should children honour their parents after their death (Hadith)

While so much is said about respect, kindness and obeying of one's parents, can their be an eventuality whereby a child could disobey his parents? This is a difficult question, but Allah gives out the answer to this question in the 8th verse of Surah 29 Al Ankabut being shared today:

وَوَصَّيۡنَا الۡاِنۡسَانَ بِوَالِدَيۡهِ حُسۡنًا​ ؕ وَاِنۡ جَاهَدٰكَ لِتُشۡرِكَ بِىۡ مَا لَـيۡسَ لَـكَ بِهٖ عِلۡمٌ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَا ؕ اِلَىَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمۡ بِمَا كُنۡتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُوۡنَ‏ 

We have conjoined man to do good to his parents, but if they force you to associate with Me another (deity) whom you do not know (as such), you should not obey them." You have all to return to Me: then I shall tell you what you had been doing

Shirk, associating an deity with Allah or labelling someone as His son or His associate, is one of the biggest and unforgettable crime in the eyes of our Creator, the sole and unchallenged Master of the universe. He alone has created the entire universe, living creatures including man, and innumerous means of sustenance for everything that lives above and below the earth. Therefore, if someone adds any deity to His Lordship, He is utterly annoyed and displeased. Those who do so will be specially dealt with on the day of the Judgements and will be unpardonable no matter how good otherwise they have been in their earthly life.

Let us examine this verse in detail as explained by some of the eminent scholars and exegetes of Qur'an:

Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi:  

According to Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Da'ud and Nasa`i, this verse was Sent down in respect of Hadrat Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (neice of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, "I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are supermost even according to Allah's Command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too." Hadrat Sa'd was perplexed and came before the Holy Prophet and told his whole story. At this, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. Therefore, the same theme has been repeated forcefully in Surah Luqman: 15 also.

What the verse means to impress is this: The rights of the parents, among the creation of Allah, are to be held as the supreme, but even if the parents force a person to adopt shirk, they should not be obeyed. The words, "If both of them force you to associate..." imply that a lesser pressure, or a pressure by either of them, deserves to be set aside much more promptly. The next sentence, ".... whom you do not know (as such)," is also noteworthy. This gives a sound reason for not obeying the parents in this regard. The parents certainly have the right that the children should serve them, respect them, and obey them in lawful things. But they do not have the right that one should obey them blindly against one's knowledge of the reality. Therefore, there is no reason why a person should go on following his parents' religion just because it is their religion. If the children come to know that their parents are following a false religion, they should give it up and adopt the right religion. and should not follow the wrong way whose falsehood has become clear to them even if the parents use every kind of pressure for it. When this is so in the case of even the parents, it should be so with every other person, too. No one deserves to be followed and obeyed unless one is sure that the person being followed is on the right path.  

"You have all to return to Me: then I shall tell you what you had been doing": That is, "The relationships of the world and their obligations are confined to the world. At last, the parents as well as the children have to return to their Creator, and before Him everybody will be held answerable only on the basis of his personal responsibility. If the parents have misled the children, they will be called to account . If the children have accepted deviation for the sake of the parents, they will be punished. And if the children adopted the right way, and showed no slackness in rendering the parents' lawful rights either, but the parents ill-treated them only for the reason that they did not join them in their deviation, they will not be able to escape Allah's punishment."

Tafsir Ibn-Kathir: The Command to be Good and Dutiful to Parents 

Allah commands His servants to be dutiful to parents, after urging them to adhere to belief in His Tawhid, because a person's parents are the cause of his existence. So he must treat them with the utmost kindness and respect, his father for spending on him and his mother because of her compassion for him. 

Allah says: (And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.") (17:23-24) 

Although Allah orders us to show kindness, mercy and respect towards them in return for their previous kindness, He says: (but if they strive to make associate with Me, which you have no knowledge of, then obey them not.) meaning, if they are idolaters, and they try to make you follow them in their religion, then beware of them, and do not obey them in that, for you will be brought back to Me on the Day of Resurrection, and Allah will reward you for your kindness towards them and your patience in adhering to your religion. It is Allah Who will gather you with the group of the righteous, not with the group of your parents, even though you were the closest of people to them in the world. For a person will be gathered on the Day of Resurrection with those whom he loves, meaning, religious love. 

Allah says: (And for those who believe and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with the righteous.) In his Tafsir of this Ayah, At-Tirmidhi recorded that Sa'd said: "Four Ayat were revealed concerning me – and he told his story. He said: "Umm Sa'd said: 'Did Allah not command you to honor your parents? By Allah, I will not eat or drink anything until I die or you renounce Islam.' When they wanted to feed her, they would force her mouth open. 

Then this Ayah was revealed: (And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you associate with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.)" This Hadith was also recorded by Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i. At-Tirmidhi said, "Hasan Sahih.

Javed Ahmad Ghamidi Explanation:

"[None has a greater right than God.] We have directed human beings to treat their parents with kindness but [at the same time clarified that] if they force you to associate someone with Me of which you have no knowledge": This an argument in favour of refutation of polytheism. Imām Amīn Aḥsan Iṣlāḥī writes:

The word علم here means “argument” and “proof.” As far as one God is concerned, it is an obvious reality that even a polytheist acknowledges. As far as His associates are concerned, it is the responsibility of those who regard them to be His associates to present a proof of this. In the absence of any such proof, it is not permissible for any reasonable person to become their servant by regarding them to be God’s partners. (Amīn Aḥsan Iṣlāḥī, Tadabbur-i Qur’ān, vol. 6, 19)

"Then do not obey them": Among the trials mentioned earlier, a big trial was that at times parents forced their children to obey them in matters of religion. Those who accepted the call of Muḥammad (sws) must have faced this trial as well. Thus the Qur’ān has made it evident that though the right of parents is an obvious fact, God has not granted them the right that they be obeyed in matters of religion without any reasoning or they compel their children in matters of religion.

Tafsir Qur'an Wiki:

The sūrah then refers to a type of test which we have already mentioned: that of ties and bonds with family and loved ones. It gives clear and decisive guidance in such a difficult situation. Parents are the closest of all relatives. They give much to their children. Hence, to be kind to one’s parents is a duty required of everyone. Indeed parents must be treated with love, respect, and care. Yet when it comes to one’s duty towards God, they cannot be obeyed in opposition to Him. The paramount bond is that with God. Hence, if one’s parents are unbelievers, they should be treated with care and kindness, but must not be obeyed or followed. Once this present life is over, all return to God.

So my dear sisters and brothers in Islam, despite the status of parents in Islam and the respect and obedience due to them, Oneness of Allah cannot be denied and anything tangent to this reality is not to be accepted at all. If parents pressurize their children for not accepting Islam, they can be disobeyed as per the Divine Directive above. However, even after entering the fold of Islam, one should never abandon one's parents and continue to respect them and be kind to them.

Remember, as mentioned in Qur'an, even Prophet Ibraheem (Abraham, peace be upon him) was admonished for praying in favour of his father who was a polytheist and refused to enter fold of Islam and continued to worship the idols. Likewise, when Prophet Nuh (Noah, peace be upon him) was onboard his ship, his arrogant son refused to come onboard and was drowning in the flood. Prophet Nuh wanted to save his son despite his disobedience to enter into the fold of Islam and was let to drown. So much is the punishment of not accepting Oneness of Allah.

And it is heartening to note that more and more non-Muslims, specially Christians, are entering the fold of Islam in huge number all over the world. The false concept of Trinity is finally crumbling and new reverts are finding message of Qur'an more logical than man made concept of the 4th century. In many cases, parents which were hostile to reversion of their offspring to Islam, later too reverted to Islam when they felt the strong ambiance of Divine faith from their offspring. 

Please read the revert experiences of some of the reverts as given in our reference page: Entering the fold of Islam - The revert experiences.

May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى‎)  help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door. 

وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ‏ 

(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”

That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.

Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.

May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.

Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.

You may read more posts on similar theme in our series of posts related to: Compiled verses from Qur'an on specific subjects: Religion

You may read more posts on similar theme in our series of posts related to:

• Compiled verses from Qur'an on specific subjects: Life
• Faith in Allah 

For more Selected Verses, please refer to our reference page: Selected Verses from the Qur'an. You may also refer to our Reference Pages  and Understanding Al Qur'an for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.

Photo | Tafsir References: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 

An effort has been made to gather explanation / exegesis of the surahs of the Qur'ān from authentic sources and then present a least possible condensed explanation of the surah. In that the exegesis of the chapters of the Quran is mainly based on the "Tafhim al-Qur'an - The Meaning of the Qur'an" by one of the most enlightened scholars of the Muslim World Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi.  

In order to augment and add more explanation as already provided, additional input has been interjected from the following sources: 

• Tafsir Ibn Khatir
• Muhammad Asad Translation
• Yusuf Ali Translation
• Translation Javed Ahmad Ghamidi / Al Mawrid
• Qur'an Wiki
• Verse by Verse Qur'an Study Circle
• Towards Understanding the Quran

In addition, references of other sources which have been explored have also been given above. Those desirous of detailed explanations and tafsir (exegesis), may refer to these sites.

Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references given above. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors.  If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.

If you like Islam: My Ultimate Decision, and to keep yourself updated on all our latest posts to know more about Islam, follow us on Facebook. You may also refer to our Facebook  Group Islam: The Ultimate Truth for more on Islam and Da'wah.

Follow @IslamUltimate

Please share this page to your friends and family members through Facebook, WhatsApp or any means on social media so that they can also be benefited by it and better understand Islam and the Qur'ān - Insha Allah (Allah Willing) you shall be blessed with the best of both worlds.

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How should children honour their parents after their death (Hadith Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)

The best of the love of believers after the love of Allah, the Lord of the entire universe, and His prophets, specially the last of the prophets, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, is the love and honour of one's parents, both while they are living and while they are no more. In fact, no one can repay one's parents for the sacrifices of one's parents which they made to rear them from the day one was conceived in the mother's womb till they left this world. Each day of their lives was spent on the wellbeing of their children while they sacrificed their own wellbeing so that their children should get the best of the very best.

We share a hadith attributed to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in which he has emphasized the need to honour one's parents after their death. 

This Hadith is mentioned in Sunan Ibn Majah (Book # 33 Etiquette كتاب الأدب / Chapter # 2 Uphold ties with those whom your father used to uphold ties / باب صِلْ مَنْ كَانَ أَبُوكَ يَصِلُ ) as Hadith number # 3664 as under:

حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ سُلَيْمَانَ، عَنْ أَسِيدِ بْنِ عَلِيِّ بْنِ عُبَيْدٍ، مَوْلَى بَنِي سَاعِدَةَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي أُسَيْدٍ، مَالِكِ بْنِ رَبِيعَةَ قَالَ بَيْنَمَا نَحْنُ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ إِذْ جَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَنِي سُلَيْمٍ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَبَقِيَ مِنْ بِرِّ أَبَوَىَّ شَىْءٌ أَبَرُّهُمَا بِهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ مَوْتِهِمَا قَالَ ‏

 "‏ نَعَمْ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَيْهِمَا وَالاِسْتِغْفَارُ لَهُمَا وَإِيفَاءٌ بِعُهُودِهِمَا مِنْ بَعْدِ مَوْتِهِمَا وَإِكْرَامُ صَدِيقِهِمَا وَصِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ الَّتِي لاَ تُوصَلُ إِلاَّ بِهِمَا ‏"‏‏.‏

It was narrated that Abu Usaid, Malik bin Rabi'ah, said:

"While we were with the Prophet(ﷺ), a man from the Banu Salamah came to him and said: " O messenger of Allah, is there any way of honoring my parents that I can still do for them after they die?' He said: "Yes offering the funeral prayer for them, praying for forgiveness for them, fulfilling their promises after their death, honoring their friends and upholding the ties of kinship which you would not have were it nor for them.'"

Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)

The above said Hadith lays down clear cut guidelines for the children for praying for the forgiveness of their parents and then fulfilling all their promises they made and honouring their friends and relatives. This hadith also specifies the need never to break ties with the kinship and ancestorial lineage for they are the ones closer to one's parents.

May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى‎) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door. 

وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ‏ 

(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”

That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.

May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.

Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.

Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.

Please refer to our reference page: Sunnah and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to know more about sunnah of Prophet of Allah. You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.

Disclaimer: The material for this post has been collected from the references as given below. If anyone differs with the material contained in this post, one may consult the references and their authors.  If someone has more material about the subject, he/she is most welcome to share in the comments box to make the post all encompassing.

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Selected Verses from Quran: Be Good to Your Parents

Islam stresses much on the family life and respect of one's parents. Parents assume the foremost importance in the hierarchy of all relations for it is they who endure all the hardships to rear their children and raise them as best as they can to make them a respectable and honourable citizens when they finally grow up and commence their own family lives. 

The mothers carry their babies for nine grueling months and undergo the severe birth pains when babies are born. From then on for at least two to three years the new borns are completely dependent on their parents, mostly mothers, before they are able to stand on their feel. 

وَوَصَّيۡنَا الۡاِنۡسٰنَ بِوَالِدَيۡهِ​ۚ حَمَلَتۡهُ اُمُّهٗ وَهۡنًا عَلٰى وَهۡنٍ وَّفِصٰلُهٗ فِىۡ عَامَيۡنِ اَنِ اشۡكُرۡ لِىۡ وَلِـوَالِدَيۡكَؕ اِلَىَّ الۡمَصِيۡرُ‏  

"We enjoined upon man to be dutiful to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning lasted two years. (We, therefore, enjoined upon him): “Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is your ultimate return." (Surah 31 Luqman:14) 

Thereafter begins a joint struggle of both parents for next two decades to help us in our studies to finally be able to find a reasonable job and commence our practical lives. But in the process, the parents have worked hard to provide the best of the education, comfort and love so that we are not deprived of our schooling and meaningful upbringing. This wears them out and as their babies become young adults, silver hair start to appears on the parents heads. From then on, it is they who need our love and care so that they may live a comfortable live and seeing us settling down with our families, as they  did and underwent the cycle of life years ago.

It is for this life long struggle that Allah places respect of parents as the top priority for the children:

وَقَضٰى رَبُّكَ اَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۡۤا اِلَّاۤ اِيَّاهُ وَبِالۡوَالِدَيۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا​ؕ اِمَّا يَـبۡلُغَنَّ عِنۡدَكَ الۡكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَاۤ اَوۡ كِلٰهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَّهُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُلْ لَّهُمَا قَوۡلًا كَرِيۡمًا‏ 

"Your Lord has decreed: (i) Do not worship any but Him; (ii) Be good to your parents; and should both or any one of them attain old age with you, do not say to them even "fie" neither chide them, but speak to them with respect" 

(Surah 17. Al-Israa / Bani Israel: 23) 

This commandment is very comprehensive. It prohibits not only the worship of anyone except Allah but also implies that one should obey and serve and submit to Allah alone without question. One should accept His commandments and law alone to be worthy of obedience and His authority to be supreme above all. This was not merely an instruction confined to a religious creed and individual practice but it served as the foundation of the moral, cultural, and political system which was practically established in Al-Madinah by the Prophet (peace be upon him). Its first and foremost principle was that Allah alone is the Master, Sovereign and Law-giver.

This verse enjoins that after Allah’s right, the greatest of all the human rights is the right of parents. Therefore, the children should obey and serve and respect their parents. The collective morality of society should make it incumbent on children to be grateful and respectful to their parents, they should serve them as they nursed and brought them up in their childhood. Above all, this verse is not merely a moral recommendation but is the basis of the rights and powers of parents the details of which we find in the Books of Hadith and Fiqh. Moreover, respectful behavior and obedience to and observance of the rights of parents comprise the most important element of the material education and moral training in the Islamic society and civilization. Incidentally, all these things have determined forever the principle that the Islamic state shall make the family life sound and secure by laws, administrative regulations and educational policy and prevent its disintegration.

Yusuf Ali Explains this verse in following words:  

The spiritual and moral duties are now brought into juxtaposition. We are to worship none but Allah, because none but Allah is worthy of worship, not because "the Lord thy God is a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate Me" (Exod. xx. 5). Note that the act of worship may be collective as well as individual; hence the plural ta'buda. The kindness to parents is an individual act of piety; hence the singular taqul, qul, etc.

And right in the next verse, children are commanded not only to be humble to their parents but also to pray for their parents:

وَاخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيٰنِىۡ صَغِيۡرًا ؕ‏ 

"And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: "My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." 

(Surah 17. Al-Israa / Bani Israel: 24) 

Yusuf Ali Explains that the metaphor is that of a high-flying bird which lowers her wing out of tenderness to her offspring. There is a double aptness. (1) When the parent was strong and the child was helpless, parental affection was showered on the child: when the child grows up and is strong, and the parent is helpless, can he do less than bestow similar tender care on the parent? (2) But more: he must approach the matter with gentle humility: for does not parental love, remind him of the great love with which Allah cherishes His creatures? There is something here more than simple human gratitude; it goes up into the highest spiritual region.

Note that we are asked to honour our father and mother, not "that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" (Exod. xx. 12), but upon much higher and more universal grounds, such as befit a perfected revelation. In the first place, not merely respect, but cherishing kindness, and humility to parents, are commanded. In the second place, this command is bracketed with the command to worship the One True God. Parental love should be to us a type of divine love: nothing that we can do can ever really compensate for that which we have received. In the third place (see next verse) our spiritual advancement is tested by this: we cannot expect Allah's forgiveness if we are rude or unkind to those who unselfishly brought us up.

However, having emphasized the need to take care of one's parents, there is a caution here too from Allah. And that is when it comes to choosing between Him and one's parents:

وَاِنۡ جَاهَدٰكَ عَلٰٓى اَنۡ تُشۡرِكَ بِىۡ مَا لَيۡسَ لَكَ بِهٖ عِلۡمٌ ۙ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَا​ وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِى الدُّنۡيَا مَعۡرُوۡفًا​ وَّاتَّبِعۡ سَبِيۡلَ مَنۡ اَنَابَ اِلَىَّ ​ۚ ثُمَّ اِلَىَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمۡ بِمَا كُنۡتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُوۡنَ‏  

"But if they press you to associate others with Me in My Divinity, (to associate) those regarding whom you have no knowledge (that they are My associates), do not obey them. And yet treat them well in this world, and follow the way of him who turns to Me in devotion. Eventually it is to Me that all of you shall return, and I shall then tell you all that you did.” (Surah 31 Luqman::15) 

According to Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Daud and Nasai, this verse was sent down in respect of Saad bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (niece of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, “I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are superior even according to Allah’s command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too.” Saad was perplexed and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told this entire story. At that, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. 

What the verse means to impress is this: The rights of the parents, among the creation of Allah, are to be held as the supreme, but even if the parents force a person to adopt shirk, they should not be obeyed. The words, “And if they strive with you to make you join with Me” imply that a lesser pressure, or a pressure by either of them, deserves to be set aside much more promptly. The next sentence, “Of which you have no knowledge (as such)” is also noteworthy. This gives a sound reason for not obeying the parents in this regard. The parents certainly have the right that the children should serve them, respect them, and obey them in lawful things. But they do not have the right that one should obey them blindly against one’s knowledge of the reality. 

Therefore, there is no reason why a person should go on following his parents’ religion just because it is their religion. If the children come to know that their parents are following a false religion, they should give it up and adopt the right religion, and should not follow the wrong way whose falsehood has become clear to them even if the parents use every kind of pressure for it. When this is so in the case of even the parents, it should be so with every other person, too. No one deserves to be followed and obeyed unless one is sure that the person being followed is on the right path.

However, one should still continue to honour one's parents with compassion and due consideration and should not abandon them just because they do not profess to the divinity and Oneness of Allah, and continue to accompany the parents in life with kindness.

Herein under, we are sharing a beautiful commentary on the respect of parents in Islam by Nouman Ali Khan:

May Allah help us understand Qur'an and help us to act upon the commandments of Allah contained therein. and also help us to take care of our aging parents and look after them for as long as they are with us and Aameen.

For more Selected Verses, please refer to our reference page: Selected Verses from the Qur'an

You may also refer to our Reference Pages for knowing more about Islam and Quran.

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Reading the Holy Quran should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully.

An effort has been made to gather explanation / exegesis of the Sūrahs of the Holy Qur'an from authentic sources and then present a least possible condensed explanation of the surah. In that:

• The plain translation has been taken from the Holy Quran officially published by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. 
• The exegesis of the chapters of the Holy Quran is mainly based on the "Tafhim al-Qur'an - The Meaning of the Qur'an" by one of the most enlightened scholars of the Muslim World Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi. 

In order to augment and add more explanation as already provided, additional input has been interjected from following sources: 

• Exegesis by Maulana Mufti Muhammad Sharif, revised by Justice Mufti Muhammad Taqi  Usmani
• Verse by Verse Qur'an Study Circle
• Tafsir Ibn Khatir
• Al-Quran, Yusuf Ali Translation
• Javed Ahmad Ghamidi / Al Mawrid

In addition the references of  other sources which have been explored have also been given in each page. Those desirous of detailed explanations and tafsir (exegesis), may refer to these sites.

If you like Islam: My Ultimate Decision, and to keep yourself updated on all our latest posts to know more about Islam, follow us on Facebook

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Why Islam Stresses on Respect of Parents

Islam places a great emphasis on relations to b build strong bonds between communities, tribes and nations. But of the relations, the importance of one's relation with one's parents is expressed explicitly and Muslims have been directed to respect and take care of their parents more than any relation in the world.

A Muslim must establish a strong bond with Allah and must never deviate from His commandments in living his life. After Himself, if Allah asks a faithful to respect and be kind to anyone is his parents. At almost a dozen places in the Holy Qur'an, it has been stressed upon the Muslims that they must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. 

Your Lord has decreed: (i) Do not worship any but Him;26 (ii) Be good to your parents; and should both or any one of them attain old age with you, do not say to them even "uff (fie)" neither chide them, but speak to them with respect, and be humble and tender to them and say: "Lord, show mercy to them as they nurtured me when I was small." (Quran Surah Al Isra 17:23-24)

This verse enjoins that after Allah’s right, the greatest of all the human rights is the right of parents. Allah has forbidden children against disrespect to parents. We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is “uff,” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, Allah has told us to address them with honor and deference. Therefore, the children should obey and serve and respect their parents. The collective morality of society should make it incumbent on children to be grateful and respectful to their parents, they should serve them as they nursed and brought them up in their childhood. Above all, this verse is not merely a moral recommendation but is the basis of the rights and powers of parents the details of which we find in the Books of Hadith and Fiqh. Moreover, respectful behavior and obedience to and observance of the rights of parents comprise the most important element of the material education and moral training in the Islamic society and civilization. Incidentally, all these things have determined forever the principle that the Islamic state shall make the family life sound and secure by laws, administrative regulations and educational policy and prevent its disintegration.

And yet again Allah tells the believers to be good to their mothers for they have borne them for nine months with utter hardship, and raised him:

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."(Quran Surah Al Ahqaf 46:15)

This verse tells that although the children should serve both the mother and the father, the mother’s right is greater in importance on the ground that she undergoes greater hardships for the sake of the children. The same is borne out by a Hadith, which has been related with a little variation in wording in Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Musnad Ahmad, and in Adab al- Mufrad of Imam Bukhari, to the effect that a person asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): Who has got a greater right to my service? The Prophet replied (peace be upon him): Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your mother. He asked: Who after her? He replied: Your father. This Hadith precisely explains this verse, for in it also allusion has been made to the triple right of the mother: (1) His mother bore him with hardship. (2) She gave him birth with hardship. (3) His bearing and his weaning took thirty months.

The commandments to respect the parents continue. Here in Surah Al Isra 17:24 there is a perfect prayer given for children to recite so that Allah may have mercy on parents:

“And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’”. 

The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings out of protection and love for their young. Our treatment of our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble, respectful, and loving towards them

In Surah Luqman (31:14), Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

"We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for to Me is the final destination."

Although man has been directed to respect and act in kindness to his parents, there is one exception - and that is if the parents ask him to associate anyone with Allah:

And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. (Qur'an Surah Al-'Ankabut 29:8)

According to traditions quoted by Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Abu Daud and Nasai, this verse was sent down in respect of Saad bin Abi Waqqas. He was 18 or 19 years old when he embraced Islam. When his mother, Hamnah, daughter of Sufyan bin Umayyah (niece of Abu Sufyan), came to know that her son had become a Muslim, she said, “I will neither eat nor drink nor sit in shade unless you disown Muhammad. The rights of the mother are superior even according to Allah’s command. Therefore if you disobey me, you will be disobeying Allah too.” Saad was perplexed and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and told this entire story. At that, this verse was revealed. Possibly other young men who embraced Islam in the initial stage at Makkah were also confronted with similar situations. 

However, while the same theme has also been repeated in (Surah Luqman: Ayat 15), showing compassion to the parents is still stressed:

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

This means that even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act in Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no concept of leaving our parents in Islam, even if they are disbelievers. To further elaborate this point, there is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good friend, Abu Bakr. Asma once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how she should treat her mother, who was a polytheist. The Prophet of Allah replied, “Treat your mother well.”

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has on many occasions stressed the importance of both parents so that they should be respected. While he kept a mother on a much higher pedestal and said:"Paradise lies under the feet of the mother," he has also said: "Allah's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father." Thus he sums up: "He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best door must please his parents."

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has also been quoted as saying: “Every righteous child who casts a look of mercy and affection upon his parents shall be granted, for every look of his, rewards equivalent to that of an accepted Hajj.”  Those around the Prophet questioned: “O’ Prophet of Allah!  Even if he were to look at them a hundred times a day?”  The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) replied: “Indeed!  Allah is the Greatest and Most Kind.”

It has also been attributed to The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, saying:

أَلَا أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ ثَلَاثًا الْإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَشَهَادَةُ الزُّورِ أَوْ قَوْلُ الزُّورِ

Shall I not tell you about the worst enormities? They are three: idolatry against Allah, disobedience to parents, and false witness. [Source: Sahih Bukhari 2511]

If the Prophet has associated disobedience to parents with idolatry and falsehood, the worst sins in Islam, then this tells us that disobedience is not a sinful deed we should take lightly.
May Allah keep us on the right path and help us in repaying our parents for what the troubles and hardships they have endured in raising us and letting us stand on our feet and let us not disobey them in any form, lest it hurts them and we earn wrath of Allah. Aameen.

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