There is no worldly relations more dearer than that of parents. It is for this reason, Allah commands that people be good to their parents, specially mothers who carry their offspring with great difficulty and usually feed them from their own bodies for two years. Allah associates gratitude towards Him with gratitude towards parents. He says be grateful and obey them and never be harsh or cruel to them in any manner. This is the dilemma faced by many a reverts who have been confronted rather strongly by their parents and family for choosing Islam upon their religion of birth. And it really disturbs them what course of action they adopt to keep both ends balanced.
Under such circumstances, children are directed not to stresses to obey them when they ask them to commit the greatest sin of associating others with God. We should not obey them in matters that go against the commandments of God, and do what is right, but at the same time we are expected to treat our parents with care and respect. In fact there have been many a instance that after a child reverts to Islam and then he/she continue to love parents more than before as directed by Islam that the hostile parents too enter the fold of Islam.
This is the theme of Surah Luqmān 31:15 that establishes one of the Qur’an’s most important principles of family life: parents deserve exceptional respect and kindness, but obedience to parents is not absolute. Ultimate obedience belongs to Allah. Reverts much too often come across the disobedience of their parents when they take the ultimate decision of their lives of opting to be a Muslim and abandoning the religion of their birth.
Let us explore the 15th verse of Surah Luqmān and reflect on the obedience and disobedience of parents by the children when it comes to reversion to Islam.
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ۖ وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ
“But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them. Yet keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me.” — Surah Luqmān 31:15
Explanation of the verse
Is this verse binding upon children or parents?
The immediate command is directed primarily to the child: “Do not obey them… but accompany them with kindness.” Yet it indirectly teaches parents an equally important lesson: parental authority has limits. Parents cannot use their status to compel a child to violate Allah’s commands, abandon faith, commit injustice or participate in sin.
So the verse establishes responsibilities on both sides:
- Children: respect, care for and normally obey their parents.
- Parents: do not demand obedience in something contrary to Allah.
The remarkable thing is that the verse does not abolish respect when obedience becomes impossible. It separates two ideas that are often confused:
- Obedience — ṭāʿah, and
- Kind treatment — maʿrūf.
The first can sometimes cease; the second normally remains.
The context: Saʿd ibn Abī Waqqāṣ and his mother
Classical tafsīr connects this teaching with the experience of Saʿd ibn Abī Waqqāṣ. When Saʿd accepted Islam, his mother strongly opposed his conversion and reportedly threatened to stop eating and drinking until he abandoned Islam. Saʿd loved and respected his mother, but he refused to abandon his faith. Ibn Kathīr relates this account while explaining the verse.
The lesson is striking: Saʿd did not insult his mother, abandon her or cease caring for her. But neither did he surrender his conscience merely because the pressure came from his mother.
This helps us understand the Qur’anic expression:
- فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا “Do not obey them.”
- Immediately followed by: وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا “But accompany them in this world with kindness.”
- The juxtaposition is the heart of the verse.
Scholarly explanation
1. Ibn Kathīr explains that if parents try hard to make their child follow them in shirk or false religion, the child must not obey them in that matter. But this refusal must not prevent the child from continuing to treat them kindly and respectfully in worldly matters.
- Thus the Qur’an does not say: “If your parents are wrong, leave them.”
- It says essentially: “Do not follow their wrong—but continue loving and caring for them.”
That distinction is extremely important.
2. Maududi's broader principle Maududi understands the passage as establishing the hierarchy of obligations. Parents have an enormous claim upon their children, but their claim comes after the claim of the Creator. Therefore, parental obedience cannot override one's responsibility to Allah.
- The Qur’an had just commanded gratitude: “Be grateful to Me and to your parents.” — 31:14
- Then 31:15 immediately qualifies it. In other words: Honour your parents enormously—but do not turn them into an authority above Allah.
- This principle prevents both extremes: rebellion against parents on one side, and blind obedience on the other.
Does refusing one's parents constitute disobedience?
Not necessarily. This verse proves that refusing a parental command is not automatically ʿuqūq al-wālidayn—sinful mistreatment of parents.
There is a fundamental difference between:
- Disobeying a particular instruction because it conflicts with Allah's command, and
- Being disrespectful, cruel, insulting or neglectful toward one's parents.
The former may actually be obligatory; the latter remains prohibited.
A famous Prophetic principle expresses this clearly:
لَا طَاعَةَ فِي مَعْصِيَةٍ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي الْمَعْرُوفِ “There is no obedience in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is right.”
So Islam does not teach blind obedience. It teaches principled obedience accompanied by excellent character. 31:15 gives us a remarkable formula
- Disagree without dishonouring.
- Refuse without insulting.
- Remain firm without becoming cruel.
That is much harder than simply obeying or simply rebelling.
Does the verse apply only to shirk?
The explicit example is certainly shirk, which is the gravest possible conflict. But scholars derive a broader principle from it: no created person is obeyed where obedience would involve disobedience to the Creator.
Therefore a parent cannot legitimately require a child to:
- Abandon an obligatory act of faith;
- Participate in fraud, bribery or dishonesty;
- Wrong another person;
- Break a clearly binding command of Allah;
- Participate in something clearly prohibited.
However, this principle should not be misused by children to reject ordinary parental guidance merely because they dislike it.
A child cannot say: “Islam says I don't have to obey my parents,” simply because the parents ask them to study, return home at a reasonable time, behave responsibly, help the family or avoid harmful company. 31:15 is a safeguard of conscience, not a license for rebellion.
How can we implement it today?
The verse is especially valuable today because tensions between generations can arise over marriage, careers, education, lifestyle, culture, religious practice and family expectations.
Suppose parents insist upon something you sincerely believe is wrong. The Qur’anic method would be:
- First, examine yourself. Is it genuinely contrary to Allah's guidance, or merely something you personally dislike?
- Second, speak respectfully. Avoid shouting, sarcasm, humiliating language or the attitude: “You are old-fashioned and know nothing.”
- Third, explain your reason. A calm “I love and respect you, but I cannot do this because I believe Allah has prohibited it” embodies 31:15 far better than an angry confrontation.
- Fourth, refuse only what is wrong. Do not use one disagreement as an excuse to withdraw affection, financial support, visits or companionship.
- Fifth, increase kindness after disagreement. This is perhaps the hardest part. The Qur’an says وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا—continue accompanying them honourably.
Imagine the moral power of saying “No” to the wrong request while saying “Yes” even more strongly to caring for the parent.
Parents should also reflect deeply on this verse. There is another side that is sometimes overlooked.
- Parents should ask: Am I asking my child to obey Allah—or merely to obey my ego?
- A parent may sometimes confuse: “You must respect me” with “You must agree with every decision I make.”
31:15 teaches otherwise. Children remain morally responsible before Allah. Parents guide them, advise them and deserve extraordinary honour, but they do not own their conscience. This becomes especially important once children become adults. Parental respect remains lifelong, while the nature of parental authority naturally changes.
A beautiful balance between 31:14 and 31:15
These two verses should really be read together:
- 31:14: Be grateful to Allah and your parents. (You may read the explanation of verse 14 at: Islam enjoins Man to care for his parents as an act of worship next to worship of Allah)
- 31:15: But if your parents pressure you toward what is wrong, do not obey them—yet continue treating them kindly.
That is a sophisticated moral teaching. The Qur’an refuses both extremes: blind obedience and self-righteous rebellion. Instead it teaches principled love.
The essence of 31:15 for us today
The verse could be summarized in one sentence:
A believer's conscience belongs to Allah, but his kindness toward his parents must survive even the deepest disagreement.
That may be the most profound lesson of the verse. You can say “I cannot obey you in this” without ever saying, through your words or behaviour, “You no longer matter to me.”
May Allāh (سبحانه و تعالى) help us understand Qur'ān and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which is embodiment of commandments of Allah contained in the Qur'ān. May Allah help us to be like the ones He loves and let our lives be lived helping others and not making others' lives miserable or unlivable. May all our wrong doings, whether intentional or unintentional, be forgiven before the angel of death knocks on our door.
وَمَا عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِلَّا الۡبَلٰغُ الۡمُبِيۡنُ
(36:17) and our duty is no more than to clearly convey the Message.”
That is Our duty is only to convey to you the message that Allah has entrusted us with. Then it is for you to accept it or reject it. We have not been made responsible for making you accept it forcibly, and if you do not accept it, we shall not be seized in consequence of your disbelief, you will yourselves be answerable for your actions on Day of Resurrection.
May Allah forgive me if my posts ever imply a piety far greater than I possess. I am most in need of guidance.
Reading the Qur'ān should be a daily obligation of a Muslim - Reading it with translation will make it meaningful. But reading its Exegesis / Tafsir will make you understand it fully. It will also help the Muslims to have grasp over social issues and their answers discussed in the Qur'an and other matter related to inter faith so that they are able to discuss issues with non-Muslims with authority based on refences from Qur'an.
Note: When we mention God in our posts, we mean One True God, we call Allah in Islam, with no associates. Allah is the Sole Creator of all things, and that Allah is all-powerful and all-knowing. Allah has no offspring, no race, no gender, no body, and is unaffected by the characteristics of human life.
You may refer to more Selected Verses from Sürah 31. Luqman - Wisdom of Luqman al-Ḥakīm (“Luqman the Wise”) already published.
You may also refer to our exclusive reference pages:
- Selected verses from selected Surahs of Al-Qurʾān for compiled verses from other surahs.
- Selected Verses from Al Qur'an about a Specific Subject (Reference Page) to know more about what Qur'an says about specific subjects
- Selected Verses from the Qur'an.
You may also refer to our Reference Pages and Understanding Al Qur'an for knowing more about Islam and Qur'ān.
An effort has been made to gather explanation / exegesis of the surahs and selected verses of Al-Qurʾān from authentic sources and then present a least possible condensed explanation of the surah. In that the exegesis of the chapters of the Quran is mainly based on the "Tafhim al-Qur'an - The Meaning of the Qur'an" by one of the most enlightened scholars of the Muslim World Sayyid Abul Ala Maududi.
In addition, other sources which have been explored and views of other scholars have been incorporated while explaining meaning of a verse. Those desirous of detailed explanations and tafsir (exegesis), may refer to these sites. For expansion of meaning and themes / contextual background help from ChatGPT is also taken.
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